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...so a mime walks into a wigwam, and the smurf says, "is that a yes or no question?"
well here is an updated version of some of the funniest quotes of y2k.
you'll notice that i have added some images to the quote lists.
if you have any photos to go along with these (especially the photo of
mark in a green bra) feel free to submit
them to me...
- Joe: Wait...you're an engineer!
Mark: Oh my god, you're right!
- Mark: We don't use the heat. We use our neighbors' heat. When
it's really cold out we do laundry. We're thinking about getting some
binoculars so we can watch the neighbors' TV.
- Joe: ..."The anal sex hotline"
Nick: I just get people calling to sell magazines.
- Kobasa: Isn't it great??
Mark: Sure. Of course I can't stand up right now... (No Greg, I forgot to ask Kobas if he knows what that was all about...i think it was some karate move...)
- Ca: Pancakes and Swiss Rolls! Yes!
- Kobasa: (Picks up 5 pancakes, takes bottom one, puts the others back)
Ca: That's so sanitary...
Kobasa: You got a problem with that?? (Throws pancake on floor, picks up, eats it)
- Joe: This is, like, a totally different game than the other one.
- Nick (re:belly button lint): I'm gonna lose weight one day and find
a ball of yarn.
- Ca: Mike Hudson is getting our room.
Mark: Your cousin is moving in here?
Ca: I think Mike Hudson just got a new nickname...
Nick: Your cousin has a new nickname?
- Joe: Take your clothes off and stay a while.
- (...shoots 16 times without reloading)...Joe, you would like him...
- (What happened to Joe's holy jeans?)
Mark: It ended up in his belly button...(that's why it's blue...)
- G: Ca knows and I bet Nick doesn't even know...hey Nick, where do
the pledges go on that special night?
Nick: The place with really good wings.
- G: Did you find your sweater?
Nick: Yes.
Greg: Where was it?
Nick: In my suitcase.
- Joe: If I get a beatdown, you're getting some ass in your face...
- Nick: Um, there was a little problem with your keys...
- Ca: Well I figured he has had his car for a while and he obviously
can handle car keys...
G: He doesn't use keys, he has a button he presses and the doors open.
Ca: See if I knew that I might have gone with him...
- "We eat Notre Dame meat!"
- Mark (to waitress): Is that a yes or no question?
- Mark's dad: We would dare him to eat an entire jar of pickles, and
he would stuff them all down his throat... He has high blood pressure
now so he just sits and rocks.
- Mark: Do you see that giraffe?
- G?: Do I know his name?
Nick (wearing artsy french-guy hat): Yeah...you like my hat?
- G: Hey John we just won....uuuuh. Hey John the house blew up...uuuuh. Hey John tacos are free...(John runs out of the room)
Presidents' Weekend, Februray 18-21
- G: How about a beer?
Mark: I can't grow a beard.
- Ca: Hey Greg, which would you say is more gay, Mark drinking wine
coolers or Mark wearing a green bra?
- Shark: I gotta say, I always wanted to go to Israel.
- Rabbi VanZandt: That's something they do in Judaism.
- Shark: Repeat after me, I Greg renounce Jesus!!!
- Mark (singing along with Reel Big Fish): Well, first of all... I'd
like to say...I'm Jewish.
- E: Who would you say is a better (?), Joe...
Shark: Joe, or Christopher Reeve?
- Seattle: Everyone that's going out with him step forward...not so
fast...
- Ca: ("...then the other chick hits it with a baseball bat ...")
There's a lot of things I would think about doing for money,
and that's not one of them.
- Seattle: "Big Cocks Quarterly"
- Seattle: ...you know what I mean?
Shark: You have, like, eight eyes.
- Shark: (Something about reefer and wheaties)
- G: She is a Jew.
Shark: Fair enough.
Shark: Can I be Jewish?
- Seattle: How dumb is Greg? ...Do you want to phone a friend?
Shark: I am the best.
- Seattle and Ca: Coming soon to a theater near you..."Inspector
Van Zandt and the Search for the Dilly." Yo.
- Shark: I may have been wearing a bra, but I did not drink any wine
coolers!
- Ca: I can't believe you just drove around this entire empty parking
lot and picked the one spot that's over a fuckin' skating rink.
- Ca (in video store): You're gonna watch 5 minutes of each of those
videos, and then you're gonna wind up watching American Pie again.
- Joe: That movie sucked.
Ca and Mark in unison: It had its moments...
- Ca (as Mark is covered in beer bottles): If we took Mark back to the
store, we'd get a dollar.
- (On Baltimore video:)
Ca: So where would you take me on our first date?
Nick: Well, first I would take you to my underground lair...where I would sit you in the corner and urinate on you while you scream I'm on fire! Put me out! Put me out!
Nick (in person): Woa that was cool. I'm a freak.
- Seattle: I'll have a small diet. And make it small. And diet.
- Nick: You know, I was gonna do that.
Seattle: What, do porn or work for a porn magazine?
Ca: "A little from column A, a little from column B."
- Greg's impression of Nick on the phone: My number is 57-812-637-42937.
- Nick: Oh yeah you should have told me.
Seattle: Yeah well I was gonna call you but you left too many numbers.
- Megan: ...so it turns out that Joe was emailing mmburton and not mmburtonsu
so some other girl was getting all my emails.
Ca: OOOOh yeah, "mmburton," that's a good excuse for anytime he forgets to send you a note...
- Nick: Oh yeah well, you know what happened...I forgot my password.
Ca: Can't you request your password?
Nick: Yeah well I forgot my userid too. I called the company but no one was there.
- Seattle: "What color does a smurf turn when you choke him?"
..."I don't know but did you say 'rectum'?"
- Nick: You know you need a girlfriend when you start watching reruns
of porn.
- Nick: I met the town officer...and he took me...
Ca: Right there in his office?
- Seattle: And the mime said..."rectum?? I'm a smurf!"
- Seattle: So a mime walks into a wigwam, and the smurf says,
"Is that a yes or no question?"
Reunion - Weekend of February 26
- G: Do you want an animal cracker?
Nick: That would be tasty.
- Nick (points at Jared): No! He's talking to you!
Jar: He's talking to you!
Greg: Jared...
Nick: Look, he said your name!
- Everyone: Wazzzzzuuuuuuuuupp!!!
- Nick: I apologize in advance for puking in your bed.
- ?: I want to see "Spaceballs..."
Ca: He just wants to see my "space."
- JoeD: All I want is for all the people in the world to drink beer!!!
- JoeD: Yeah well I logged on so fuck you asshole!
- Nick?: These guys are good actors.
G?: Yeah, "I'm 'acting' like I'm taking a shit."
- Nick: Shitting in people's mouths is greeeat.
- Mark (re: NastyNasty@sickshit.com's dominatrix): Even Ca is in pain...
- Ca: "Love me right now!" ...why are you all wet???
- Nick: Make it talk...
Mike Payne: Write that down!
- Ca: Mark passed out while watching a video of himself passing
out as we watched the video of him passed out.
- G (recycling a previous quote in the context of Jared and death):
"Who put that there? Jaa-rehd!"
- ?: I'd shoot myself in the face with a bazooka.
- G: Is that Ike?
Mike: She's 18 though.
- Nick: Love me! I wanna die too...
- Ca (as Nick): "CAHM AHN, I WAHNT SHITTING!!"
- Megan: Ike's dead.
Ca: Ike's here?
- Megan (points at Pat): You made me have a dream about my farm!!
- Jared: Ca and Megan were just saying what a loser you are, and
Ca spilled orange juice on her crotch.
- Ca: Jar, I am defending you now.
Jared: Yeah cuz you're not saying anything.
Ca: Exactly.
- Greg: Yeah Jared, you're okay 'cause you're sitting on the smart couch.
As opposed to the couch that's full of stupidity, and estrogen.
- Ca: Estrogen doesn't throw beer-bottle molotov cocktails through fraternity
house windows.
G: Yeah but estrogen has kids.
- Schepis: It was so awesome, wasn't it like a giant orgy? Everyone
was gettin' it on. Even Jared.
- Jared: Me??
G: No, the OTHER president.
Schepis: ...that hooked up with death.
- G: I didn't see much, I was just playing the music so they could
GET IT ON!
- G as Jared: "But I'm a nice guy... 'Rail me in the
ass right now!' ...well I didn't want to say NO..."
- G: It's okay. You're gonna work the whole party next time...no,
wait, you're not working at all.
Schepis: And I'm gonna invite death.
- Nick to Schepis (in Bianchi biking shorts, top and hat standing next
to Bianchi bike): Who sponsors you?
- G: "Little Bill and the Meanest Things to Say."
Chris: Yeah that's mine.
G: I thought it was Nick's.
- Ca and Megan (every time Georgetown coach on screen): It's Hitler!
- Kobasa: What's that?
Mark (rips tag off bag and throws on floor behind him, tries unsuccessfully to step on it before G can pick it up): Nothing.
- "Nick" if the police stopped him: Nick lives in Maryland
now. And he changed his name to VanZandt.
- Ca (hugs): Bye G.
G: Bye Ca. (Doesn't let go) Hog-tie time!!
Ca: No! Didn't we just do that?
- G: Megan, I wouldn't hook up with you if the world was covered in
piss and you lived in a tree.
- Ca (re: male twins): One's cuter, I'll never tell you which one tho.
Morey: See she's a female, they notice these things. To us they look the same, right Bryan?
Bryan: Oh yeah. I'd bang either one.
- Z: 'Do you use cheeeeese on your chalupas??' ...I think we just dissed
the Taco Bell guy...
- Z (as Edwin McCain comes on): This isn't Tupac...
- Morey: Not a truck, a fire truck.
- Megan (to Steve): You were you, but you were cool...
- Ca: Booby beer...mmmmm, tasty.
- Ca: DJ Trotta Trott...
- Bryan (as Trotta dances to 'I'm super, thanks for asking'):
Of all the songs for you to dance to, this is NOT the one...
- Steve (watching Matt air-guitar): Go Matt! No lessons, right?
Self-taught!!
- Laura (as John does his 'swamp mouth' thing) : See that's it!!
Ca: He just looks like a retard.
- Steve: Were you just wackalackin around?
- Trotta (as John sings DMX): You're going too fast.
- Megan: What's a motta?
Ca: I dunno, what'samatta wit you??
- G: DOUHY DOUY DOH DOUHY!
Ca: Could you spell that?
- Megan: Matt Morey!
Steve: Megan Something-or-other!
- Ca (imitating Jada Pinket reprimanding Tupac on 'Different World'):
Yo, I got an agenda!
- Z (written in Ca's quotes book): Ca - she's the coolest. She owns oil in 3 states. Rilly.
- Zach: Who let my balls out? WHO WHO WHO...
- Ca: Who left the beer home? WHO WHO WHO...
- Ca: His real name is Matt.
Random Girl: How old are you really?
G$: 19. Here, this is my ID.
Random Girl: That is the worst fake I have ever seen! They let you in with that??
- Ca: Matt is from New Jersey too! Where in New Jersey
are you from?
Vanessa: Cranford.
- Greg: I'm gonna check every can on that table when we
get back and if any of them have beer in them I'm gonna hold you responsible.
- Mark: I'm thinkin' of converting...
- (Refs rule Shaeffer's field goal attempt no good) Jobar:
I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!
- Prindiville: WAS-TED MON-EY! [clap clap clapclapclap]
Jobar: Did he say "Wasted corned beef?"
Jobar: WAS-TED CORNED BEEF!
- Everyone: RYAN CORRIGAN! [clap clap clapclapclap]
- Russell: Yeah maybe we'll go to a Bowl game!
Ca and Greg: (look at each other and start cracking up)
Remember any more? Let me know!